Forget Fighting Pollution This Diwali, Save Your Kidneys first. Here’s why. [Humour]

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So Diwali is just around the corner and that night is not far when the skyline is going to be lit up with millions of streaks of lights and illuminations.
While we all sit at home and enjoy seeing the elaborate fireworks with those perfectly timed detonations sending thousands of sparkles into the air, it is the pyromaniac ‘Uncle Sam’ who’s paying the bills, or should we say burning his money into the thin air.

Confused, well just go visit the local fire cracker seller and once you’re done selecting the best of the crackers to your heart’s content you can tell us all about the whooping hole in your wallet. Or better yet, read this article and let good old ‘Uncle Sam’ pay the bills while you watch it scot-free from the comfort of your home and all your kidneys intact (as you don’t have to sell any to buy the fireworks now)

 

Valentine’s Box (₹ 2700)

Valentines box

Starting at the bottom of the table, this rather affectionate fire cracker is a ‘speciality’ for the romantics. Costing about ₹ 2700 for a piece, it is sure to light up the romance on Diwali in a cracking way. *wink*

Sky Blitz (₹7200)

Sky Blitz 720

Well don’t get too imaginative by its name, but it does satiate what this ₹ 7200 worth cracker is supposed to do− Shoot out vertically in to the sky bursting aerial and multi-colour sparks. As the name very well suggests, no?

Kaleidoscope (₹7400)

Kaleidoscope 5300

A kaleidoscope essentially, when looked into, gives a very multifaceted vision and this particular fire cracker does exactly that− shoots about 100 shots of golden bursting with multi-colour flashes. Competing with the Sky Blitz in a very close battle, this multi-visioned eye delight will cost ‘only’ ₹ 7400. And the reason we say ‘only’ is… well, hold your breath till the last one.

10000 Wala garland (₹8200) 

10000 Wala Garland 6360

Before you even picture this as something you’d want to exchange with your loving partner as a way to renew your vows, just STOP! Because if you don’t you’re sure to meet him/her next in heaven. Well, jokes apart this is a mammoth garland of fire crackers which once lit up will surely numb your ears by the time all of it goes off. But of course it is the sheer delight of sound and sparks that set up the mood for Diwali. And this fire cracker of a Varmala (garland) is going to set you back by ₹ 8200 (only). It goes something like this *padd padd pa…padd..papad….padd……* (continune saing that for the next 15 minutes). Yes, that’s all it does.

Panorama 500 (₹15000) 

Panorama 11650

Yes this is the Holy Grail of fire crackers this Diwali, the undisputed champion, the sacred last one, the top brass! This monster will surely light up the skyline as far as your eyes can see− into a panorama indeed! Lasting for approximately 8 and a half minutes, this beast has been skilled to perfection− shoots out 500 golden bursting shots into the sky with green, red, white and yellow flashes to make up for its worth. And also, it has a whistling and whirling function added to the whole visionary decadence. Surely you must be excited, and so were we until the seller came crashing with the price but don’t worry it’s not that much you see− it will lighten your wallet by only ₹ 15000.

Disclaimer: This article is just a quirky take on how much of money we waste in the name of celebrations. 

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