[Satire] Salt Lake Businessman Sells Rs 500 &1000 notes at Rs 7/Kg Also Plans To Make Thongas Out Of Them

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Just this evening, as the prime minister announced that Rs 500 and Rs 1000 currency notes will not be valid soon the nation was taken by surprise, but Mr Jaivardhan Golatia, a businessman from Salt Lake decided to be ahead of the game.

Jaivardhan who calls himself the king of electronics operates a chain of electronics equipment showrooms across the city. The moment he got to know that all the 500 and 1,000 notes that he had been stacking in his bedroom all these years to buy the Audi his son had been demanding for won’t be valid anymore he very calmly decided to start an alternate business.

“I have close to 85 lakh in liquid cash in Rs 500 and Rs 1000 currency notes. I’ve collected all the amount mostly by not paying the taxes that I should have” said Jaivardhan.

However, being a clever business man that he boasts of being he said “I have always been taught by my father to stay ahead of the game. So starting from tomorrow morning, I’ll be selling all the 500 and 1000 currency notes that I had according to their weight. I’ve already struck a deal with my local kabadi wala and decided on a lucrative rate”

However, Jandhan, son of Jaivardhan had an interesting take.

“So what if the 500 & 1000 rupee notes are not valid anymore. I’ve already pitched the idea of making tissue paper out of all the notes that we have because as they say ‘Paisa toh haatho ki dhool hoti hai’ and what better way to clean your hands than the dhool itself. That way I maintain a demand for the tissues. I also plan to make special currency thongas out of them” said Jandhan

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A staff of their showroom was heard saying, that they could have burnt the 500 and 1000 Rs notes had they known this before Diwali. “We would have saved money for the crackers too” said Ramesh, a staff worker in Jaivardhan’s Salt Lake showroom.

splurge-leadGiven the circumstances, many other businessmen are following suit. A local shop owner was overheard starting a business of ‘Kagaz ke phool’ while others were bidding on supplying notes for Honey Singh music videos.

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As people queue up in front of ATMs to take out 100 rupee notes or deposit 500 and 1000 rupee notes, our favourite idea was  the one given by 15 year old Rajiv Sureka who plans on making cigarettes out of all the 500 and 1000 notes his father had saved for his education in Singapore.

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Picture: Subhanu Paul

When contacted, Rajiv said “We are working on a product that will make our customers say ‘Paise ko hawa mein uda diya!’.”

Disclaimer: The following post is just for light humour

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