Fitness is a heavy word to throw around in Kolkata! From the eternal Lyadh to Chingri Malaikari to Mangsho Bhaat, enemies of fitness come in various forms in Kolkata. And as a result, a huge variety of Kolkatans can be seen hitting the gym every now and then. Now every gym has this set of typical people that end up there every day to ‘work out’ and all the other habits associated with it. Here is a list of typical people you’ll meet at a Kolkata gym. Enjoy the trail.
1. The Fat Uncle/Aunty
“Eto taka diye eto workout korlam. Weight ta aar komlo na. Dhur, gym ta bekaar”
“Cho Kalke Arsalan er Biryani hok”
From Tele Bhaja to Ghee-Laddu to Mutton Biryani, these lovely people never follow a decent diet.
Binging on fried food and sometimes alcohol day in day out while complaining that exercising isn’t helping them towards being fit.
Hey uncle maybe you should train as hard as you hate!
2. Gyan baba (Wannabe Dada)
“No no, carry on. You’re doing it fine. But this is a better way to do it you know!”
The elite class of “know it all”! Always looking enthusiastic, these are the kind of people who will educate every random person about fitness and its benefits and mind you, they are not fit at all themselves.
3. The check-in guy
“#gymtime #workhard #gymanimal, check in over, let’s go home”
Some of us exercise with dumb-bells and this category people exercise with their cellphones. All they do is check in at the gym and post a bunch of selfies with captions such as “breaking a sweat” or “had a killer workout”. The reality is quite different though.
“Ei toh coffee khe shuru korbo workout”
Yes, we’re in Kolkata and lyadh is in our blood so there have to be lazy guys everywhere! – At the gym too.
From sipping coffee at snail’s pace to just ambling around, this special type will do everything possible to waste time in the gym! Not to forget, they also love to sit and brood a particular set of exercise is or how tired they are.
5. The overdressed lot/ Mr & Mrs Tights
“I just got these new pair from Puma”
“Oh I forgot my Nike wrist band today!”
“I’m in love with my new Adidas jumper”
All the above with an accent generally!
Ever saw guys at the gym and wondered ‘are they at wrong place?’
From the tightest attire to highlight each body-part they want to a branded apparel for each workout, these overdressed guys seem ever-ready for a catwalk on the ramp and not the treadmill.
6.The Miya Bhais
“Sallu Bhai ke jaisa body bana na hai bhai”
These gentlemen are all tough on the outside pumping the heaviest weights and bulking up like hulk. But truth be told these ‘Sallu’ fans are the softest from inside!
Size over shape is their motto!
7. The Festival/ Special occasion people
“I need to fit into my wedding dress”
“I want to look best for the New Year party!”
“Ei Pujo te kintu chobi te roga lagte hobe”
This lot is the most motivated of all with the intention of going from Tapos Pal to Ryan Gosling in 2 months. They soon give-up after realizing Photoshop can make them look slimmer.
8. The Adda folk
“Ei janish toh Rahul er bari te shei din ki holo!”
Take a Bengali from his adda-zone to the gym and he’ll make the gym his adda-zone! From PNPC to just chatting away while sitting on the gym equipment, these folk can conjure an adda session out of thin air!
9. The Tolly aspirant
“Aami next Dev hobo!”
“Bhai Paglu te Dev er body dekhli?”
“Dev Dev Dev Dev”
This lot has the dream of making it big in Tollywood! From sticking posters of Dev in their rooms to imitating every move of his, the gym is more of a rehearsal for these aspiring actors.
10. Group mentality
“cho cho cho bhai, onek exercise holo, cho giye roll khai” Full group leaves the gym
This group is the best specimen. They’ll come to the gym only when their group members come and if even one from the group decides to leave, all the members end up leaving the gym that very moment